According to Joystiq, there’s a new Tomb Raider on the way, set to debut on the Xbox 360. And to quote Moe Sizlack;

WHAAAA!?

Yes, I understand that back in the dark days of gaming, circa 1997, Lara Croft and her over-sized mammaries were quite the draw card for the majority of gamers (mostly 15-20 year old males without girlfriends), but after Tomb Raider : Angle of Darkness had the following said about it;

We’d suggest that Lara should retire while she’s still got some dignity, but it’s too late.

And the release of two movies best described as torturous, one is left wondering; why is Eidos intent on flogging this bitch? Is the industry so devoid of original thought that no one can let go of a franchise? If Eidos wants to pull in sales with tits, they should spend a week or two creating a new franchise. No one cares about Tomb Raider, it’s a dried husk of it’s former glory (much like the Starfox franchise), and I’m not the only one who thinks so.

To prove how easy it is to create a new franchise, watch as I spend 10 minutes coming up with something cool and original to replace Tomb Raider:

• Lead character is a 20-28 year old female. Beautiful in her own way, with normal-sized breasts
• Lead character has a degree in something cool. Cell Chemistry or Geo Physics or something
• Fate befalls our leading lady as the aspects of her life are deconstructed by powers unseen, piece by piece. Her friends disappear, people forget who she is, she effectively becomes invisible
• In an attempt to restore normality and extract revenge on the evil powers that be, she sets out discovering who’s really pulling the strings

Give the idea to the artists for a week, get them to come up with an original style and get to making a new, original game. One without the baggage of Tomb Raider, one with a lot more room for new game mechanics and one you could expand into a few sequels without people thinking “not again”.